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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22417369">how to accidentally get adopted - a guide by Piers Nivans</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fonulyn/pseuds/fonulyn'>fonulyn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Found Family, Friendships in focus tbh, Gen, Humor, I mean there is established Chreon, M/M, Piers Nivans Lives, Piers centric tbh, Piers is alive and happy and healthy, attempted humor at least, but it's not in focus really, kind of crack tbh, mentions of a fire if that's a trigger for someone, sometimes I think I'm funny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 16:07:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,310</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22417369</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fonulyn/pseuds/fonulyn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“You broke the high score at the shooting range yesterday. Good job!” Chris reached out and patted Piers’ shoulder. </p>
<p>So, really, it wasn’t Piers’ fault that what slipped out was “Thanks, dad.” </p>
<p>-<br/>Or the one wherein Piers accidentally keeps calling Chris dad, and Chris and Leon sort of unofficially adopt him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Leon S. Kennedy/Chris Redfield</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>302</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>how to accidentally get adopted - a guide by Piers Nivans</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Idk what this is lmao. Tatsu and I were talking about a few gifs and how Chris is such a father-figure, and I have been in such an intense Piers-mood lately (I desperately need more Piers in my life, in all the possible ways //sobs). So, this happened 😂  </p>
<p>Oh, a heads-up: Leon refers to himself as ‘mother’ at one point and gets called ‘mom’ once too, so if that’s a squick for you then be warned? It’s got no agenda, they’re just having fun and goofing around, but I wanted to give a warning just in case! :3 </p>
<p>Also there is a mention of an apartment burning down so if that's something that might upset you, be warned as well.</p>
<p>Other than that? Idk. I hope you'll get a laugh out of this~</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first time it happened, it was an honest accident. For the better part of an hour, Piers had been going through the report Wilkins had written, trying to make some sense of it as the man was chronically incapable of producing readable content. He was so lost in the sea of grammatical nonsense and numbers that didn’t match, that he barely registered it when Chris walked into the room and dropped a paper onto his desk. </p>
<p>“Congratulations, Piers,” Chris said, as he peered over Piers’ shoulder to see what he was doing. “You broke the high score at the shooting range yesterday. Good job!” He even reached out and patted Piers’ shoulder. </p>
<p>So, really, it wasn’t Piers’ fault that what slipped out was “Thanks, dad.” </p>
<p>At first Piers didn’t even realize what he’d said. He heard the distinct snort that meant Chris was holding back his laughter the best he could, and frowning he looked up from the papers. Chris’ eyes were sparkling with amusement, and he couldn’t hold back the grin anymore as he replied with an empathetic “No problem, <i>son</i>.”</p>
<p>Only then it clicked, and Piers could feel himself flush all the way to the tips of his ears, so embarrassed he kind of wanted the earth to swallow him up right then and there. “<i>Captain</i>,” he said, although he knew that it was way too late by then, “thanks, <i>captain</i>.”</p>
<p>“Sure, sure,” Chris snickered, that asshole, and clapped Piers on the shoulder again. “Want me to pin the scorecard on the fridge at home?”</p>
<p>Piers shoved his hand away, grumbling something about asshole captains and how it was impossible to live with them. He pressed his head down in pretense of looking at the report again, hiding his amused smile.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*</p>
</div>For the next couple of weeks, Piers forgot all about his little mishap. Then there was some godawful seminar he had to take part in as Chris adamantly dragged him along. Leadership skills, sure, in theory it sounded like an important topic but after an entire day of playing stupid games and listening to lecturers who didn’t seem to know anything his mood wasn’t at its highest.<p>If they hadn’t taken Chris’ car he would’ve already left, absolutely fed up with this. </p>
<p>It was during the lunch break. They were standing in line, minding their own business, when someone laughed raucously, drawing their attention. As they looked over there was a bunch of men in suits over at the corner table. One of them was pointing at Chris, and his voice was loud enough to carry over the chatter in the room as he went “Look at that guy! I bet all of his energy goes to those muscles and there’s nothing left for his brain.” </p>
<p>That already made Piers grit his teeth and his entire body tensed, but he managed to hold himself back. Still, if he was being honest with himself, he wanted to march over there and punch the guy’s lights out. Chris gave him a low “Don’t.” and he stood still, trying not to cause a scene.</p>
<p>But then the asshole went on, voice getting even louder as he laughed. “What is he even doing in a seminar like this when he obviously can’t understand a word of it? Such a big ape!”</p>
<p>“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Piers hissed through his teeth and this time he already took a step forward. </p>
<p>With a sigh Chris shot out an arm in a well-practiced move, placing it on Piers’ chest to hold him back. “How often do I have to tell you to get your temper under control?” he muttered in a low voice, only for Piers to hear, “Let it go, he’s not worth it.”</p>
<p>Piers closed his eyes and took a deep breath, feeling the tension seeping off him. It was getting easier, every time, as he had honestly been working on it and had improved quite a bit. Losing his temper so easily made him a little embarrassed, and when Chris patted his shoulder soothingly he said, without even thinking “I’m sorry, dad.”</p>
<p>This time Chris didn’t laugh, to his credit, and with that pull attention from the assholes over at the corner table. He was grinning, though, as he glanced sideways at Piers. “Don’t worry about it, s—” </p>
<p>“No,” Piers hissed at him, even waved a finger at him before he realized it made him look like <i>his mom </i>of all people and quickly he tucked his hands into his pockets. “Do not say that.” </p>
<p>Chris didn’t. They got through their day, boring as it was, and the two-hour drive back, and Piers was already hoping that Chris had forgotten all about his slip of tongue. But then they stopped at Piers’ apartment complex, and as he got out of the car Chris waved at him exaggeratedly “See you tomorrow, <i>son</i>!”</p>
<p>He sped off before Piers could answer anything at all.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*</p>
</div>It wasn’t exactly unusual to see Leon at the BSAA headquarters. Not only was he married to Captain Redfield, but in the latest years he’d done consulting jobs for them more often than not. Apparently he wasn’t only efficient on the field, but also had a good head on his shoulders, and everyone wanted to benefit from his razor sharp mind. Piers had to admit, too, that he admired the agent as much as the captain, both of them practically living legends in their field.<p>The admiration wasn’t the main thing on his mind when Leon practically waltzed in, as the first thing the man did was grin at Piers and ask, “Hey, Nivans. Where’s your dad?”</p>
<p>“Oh, fuck you!” Piers snapped, without even thinking about it. Sure they’d hung out a few times outside work and were maybe friends on some level, but he was still horrified the second he heard what came out of his mouth. The disrespect! </p>
<p>Leon only faked a shocked expression. “Now that is no way to talk to your <i>mother</i>!” He barely got the words out before he was already cracking up, nearly doubling over with his laughter. </p>
<p>That was the exact moment when Chris walked in, slipping an arm around Leon’s waist as he leaned in to plant a quick peck on his cheek. “What’s so funny?” he asked, waiting to be let in on the joke. </p>
<p>“You <i>told him</i>!” Piers pointed an accusing finger at the captain, and he didn’t need to explain any further as immediately it was clear what he meant. </p>
<p>Chris didn’t seem to have any remorse. He only shrugged. “Of course I did. Everyone knows I tell him everything.” He seemed all earnest, blinking innocently. Piers was already about to let it slide, his anger fading and even the embarrassment taking the backseat to distant amusement. “Besides, he deserves to know we have a son, now.” The grin was back on Chris’ face, and Leon started cracking up again next to him.</p>
<p>“Oh my god you two,” Piers groaned, spinning around on his heels. What had he done to deserve this.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*</p>
</div>“That was really impressive, Nivans,” Chris said, looking genuinely impressed as he stopped in front of Piers. He’d already given the results to almost everyone else, dealing out compliments and advice as necessary, but he hadn’t looked quite this pleased when it came to anyone else in their group. “I mean, you’ve always been good but this is… well, I don’t remember anyone ever scoring full points on this track.”<p>Pride swelled in Piers’ chest and he honestly tried to hold back his smile, not to look too smug around the rest of their squad. He was always striving to be better, to do better, to hone his skills so that he would be the best version of himself and as useful as possible out there on any op. So it honestly meant a lot to him to hear the praise from Chris of all people, who he still looked up to. </p>
<p>So, obviously that was when his brain-to-mouth filter failed him and instead of anything else, he responded with a “Thank you, dad.”</p>
<p>This time Piers realized his mistake first himself. His eyes shot open and he stared at Chris, who was politely trying to bite back his laughter. He looked kind of constipated as he was trying <i>so hard </i>not to just let it out, but it only lasted for a few seconds before he couldn’t fight it anymore. And as Chris burst out laughing, so did everyone else around them.</p>
<p>Piers’ ears were burning with the embarrassed blush, and he tipped his head back to stare up into the bright blue sky. “Jesus Christ, I’m never going to hear the end of this, am I?”</p>
<p>“Sorry,” Chris apologized through his wheezes of laughter, and he did look honestly sorry about it even with how amused he was. </p>
<p>Truth to be told, Piers wasn’t <i>that </i>bothered about it. It wasn’t the worst thing to be mocked about, and these guys were sort of like family for him. Nevertheless he did poke Finn hard in the ribs with his elbow, just because he happened to be standing next to him. “Shut up already.”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*</p>
</div>Sometime in mid-October there was a fire at Piers’ apartment complex. Half of his apartment burned down badly enough that there was nothing they could salvage from there, and even what little he got saved from the other rooms reeked so thickly of smoke he felt like retching.<p>It seemed to take ages for the insurance company to get their gears moving, and for the time being Piers was left with no place to stay and not enough money for even a hotel room, not if he wanted to replace any of the clothes and whatelse he needed. So for the first week he slept at the BSAA headquarters, in Chris’ office on the way too uncomfortable couch, and already after the fourth night of little to no sleep he was regretting it. </p>
<p>It was Leon who noticed the dark circles under his eyes first. He was waiting for Chris to be ready to head home, as Chris was talking through something or the other with a couple of new recruits in the conference room next to them. When Leon noticed the sleeping bag and the duffel with some of Piers’ meager belongings, he looked disbelieving for a second. “You aren’t sleeping <i>here</i>?” he asked, frowning at the couch. It was way too short to sleep on, even if Piers wasn’t the tallest of them. “Seriously?”</p>
<p>“I can’t afford a hotel,” Piers admitted in a bit of an embarrassed mutter, avoiding looking directly at Leon. “It’ll do. At least I have a roof over my head.”</p>
<p>“Uh-huh,” Leon replied, arching an eyebrow at the explanation. For a moment he kept staring at Piers, his blue eyes piercing and calculating, and eventually he seemed to make up his mind as he unceremoniously grabbed Piers’ bag and called out to Chris into the next room. “Babe, we’re having guests overnight. I’ll take the car, okay?”</p>
<p>“Sure thing, I’ll grab a cab,” Chris called back without even hesitating, waving his hand a little. </p>
<p>Leon turned to Piers, tilting his head towards the door. “<i>Well</i>,” he said, as if it was <i>Piers </i>who was acting weird here. “Aren’t you coming?” </p>
<p>“I’m—” </p>
<p>In all honesty Piers didn’t really understand how it all happened but in less than an hour he was sitting in Chris and Leon’s living room, freshly showered and dressed in sweatpants and a soft white t-shirt, a hockey game on TV in the background. A bowl of re-heated pasta was placed into his waiting palms, and a can of beer onto the table in front of him. </p>
<p>“After you’ve eaten you’ll go straight to bed,” Leon all but ordered, voice leaving no room for arguments. “It’s way past your bedtime.”</p>
<p>There was an immense wave of gratefulness that rushed through Piers and he could find no words for that, nothing that could convey just how glad he was that he didn’t have to sleep on that couch and eat power bars for dinner, or something equally teenaged like that. He looked up at Leon, dangerously close to tears, damnit. </p>
<p>So instead of a proper thank you, he latched on to the words, muttering a petulant “You can’t tell me what to do. You’re not my real mom.”</p>
<p>Leon laughed, patting his head. “Yeah, yeah. You can stay up and watch the third period, but that’s it.”</p>
<p>This time, Piers did manage to get out the “Thanks.” through half-chewed mouthful of pasta.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*</p>
</div>“Morning,” Piers greeted as he got into the kitchen, where both Leon and Chris were already sitting at the table, finishing their breakfast. There was coffee ready and Piers immediately grabbed a mug, going for the coffee pot as he didn’t feel awake enough before he’d get at least one mugful.<p>Then Piers happened to glance at the fridge, and promptly froze in his tracks. There it was, right in the middle of the fridge door, the score he had gotten from the shooting range weeks ago. The first time he had accidentally called Chris ‘dad’, and Chris had mocked him by asking if he should pin the card up. </p>
<p>“What.” Piers managed, intelligently. </p>
<p>“If you have some drawings, we can put them up too,” Chris answered helpfully, getting up to bring his plate and mug into the sink. He leaned in to give Leon a quick peck, patted Piers’ shoulder on his way past him, and headed out of the kitchen with a “I have some colorful magnets somewhere, I think!” </p>
<p>Piers turned to look at Leon from wide eyes.</p>
<p>“Don’t try to fight it,” Leon laughed, giving him shrug that seemed to say something like <i>I wouldn’t</i>. “He’s already pretty much adopted you, so. Deal with it, son.”</p>
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